'I've really started noticing how sad it is': Employee on verge of quitting sparks discussion on what to do when your boss has no work-life balance

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jun 28, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

There is a difference between working your hardest and only working. Life is all about balance and that especially goes for any career you're chasing. You will never be happy if you make your entire life about your job, just like you will not be happy if you make your entire life about your partner or your hobby or whatever. Us humans need balance. Work-life balance is extremely important. It's not only essential for mental health, but it is also essential in being a great employee. If you make your life completely about your work, you can never get a fresh or new perspective on the work, thus never bringing in new or innovative ideas. Do you seriously just want to be a mindless worker bee? Plus, if you're all work and no play, your mental health is most likely going to suffer, and if you are not in good mental health it's difficult to do anything, let alone a job. So what do you do when you have a manager with zero work-life balance who is pushing their toxic workplace views on you?

One employee on the verge of quitting turned to Reddit asking that exact question. A co-worker/friend recently got promoted and their workplace culture quickly turned toxic when they started making work all about their life. The OP noted that this was the kind of manager who pulls all-nighters constantly, micro-managers, and doesn't even know what to do with themself during days off. They add that it's honestly quite sad to see. Unfortunately, many people have experienced managers with no work-life balance and they've tuned in to give some advice on what to do and how to deal with it. See for yourself below! 

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  • 01
    Arm - How do you deal with managers that have no work-life balance?
    via u/WeStanPlankton

    Photo via u/pexels-VladaKarpovich

  • 02
    Font - I've always noticed a type of person that sets me off is the type that make their job their entire life. They always try to make it like a cute thing how much they work and brag about how unhealthy they are. They chug energy drinks and laugh about how they'll have a heart attack soon, often because they have a heart defect or like a family history of heart disease. They go out of their way to get people to worry about them because of how much they work.
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 03
    Font - I had a manager like this that had a big impact on me because they would literally have panic attacks every other day or get into screaming fights with people because either no one was as "dedicated" as they were or like one time I heard them say something like "what do people do on their time off? I basically go home and twiddle my thumbs until the weekend is over." They also often talk about how mentally ill they are but refuse to get help because "I'm too messed up for therapy" like...
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 04
    Font - At my current job, a work friend got promoted to a management position, and they literally don't go home because "if I do, I'll drink." And they've been getting into arguments with people because they don't want anyone leaving until our boss leaves. Our boss is kind of inconsistent about the issue because she is always mad that people don't work enough, but she also doesn't seem to care all that much. It's more that she cares about time management, but then will get mad if you leave work
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 05
    Font - A thing that bugs me a lot with my work friend though is that she has started low key accusing me of being a spoiled brat/entitled because I have been very open about my career goals. My boss is also very aware and doesn't really care as long as I do my work. This job is not my preferred career field, and I am just working here to pay the bills while I work toward getting into my preferred field. That means I try to get out of work as early as possible, but I am definitely willing to stay
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 06
    Font - These people often insinuate that I am somehow spoiled or entitled because I try to make as much money as I can with as little work as possible. Usually that just means I do my job and try to go home on time. I tend to schedule therapy sessions for my anxiety issues on my lunch break, and they've been irritated with me because that means that some days I leave for an hour. They act like that is completely crazy, but then they try to joke with people about how terrible their life is or jok
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 07
    Font - Since I got on medication for my anxiety and started therapy, I've really started noticing how sad it is. It almost seems like a cry for help at times. They seem to bounce between being fine to trying to convince people how cute it is that they have no work-life balance to they deeply resent people who are trying to improve their work-life balance or set boundaries.
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 08
    Font - TLDR; there is a type of person that has no concept of work-life balance, who does not want to work on themselves, who has no hobbies or interests and is unwilling to look for any, who resents people for having a life outside of work, and I've noticed they rarely grow beyond middle management. They used to terrorize me, but since I started working on my anxiety, it's like I VERY SUDDENLY started seeing them for how sad they really are. Have you ever experienced this kind of person? How do
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 09
    Font - BigLoungeScene . 19 hr. ago. edited 14 hr. ago You're correct to both recognize this worker-bee archetype, and avoid becoming like them. The best way is to set boundaries and that's a lot easier from a WFH situation if you can find one. Best of luck in any case!
    via u/BigLoungeScene
  • 10
    Font - Professional-Belt708 16 hr. ago It's good you recognize how unhealthy they are and how important it is to not be like them. I have a younger colleague in Europe and I have to schedule emails I send to her because if I send them anytime after work hours but before midnight her time, she's still checking and answering them. We are not in any emergency work where this needs to happen at all.
    via u/Professional-Belt708
  • 11
    Font - It's not going to help her advance in any way. Our boss has the worst work life balance and checks and answers emails 18 hours a day. It's sick. I only look at and answer emails Monday- Friday 9-5 and I don't care. No one comes for me because I'm the only one who knows exactly how everything works and where all the bodies are buried.
    via u/Professional-Belt708
  • 12
    Font - verucka-salt. 15 hr. ago These ppl are too be pitied. I don't want to work extra & don't expect staff to either. I tell them it'll be here Monday; go home. I've said to busybodies & workaholics that it's highly unlikely they will benefit from working like maniacs because errors become more likely.
    via u/verucka-salt
  • 13
    Font - There's no where to grow at this clinic without furthering education &!there are no guarantees anyway. If you aren't satisfied with your present career, let's discuss options. Just don't go crazy with work thinking that will impress me because it will not.
    via u/verucka-salt
  • 14
    Font - vanillabeanlady. 14 hr. ago It's good that you're recognizing how toxic their behavior is. I think maintaining strong boundaries are important. It sounds like your coworkers are really unprofessional, talking about how mentally ill they are and about their alcoholism at work. Remember that you are the normal one. Work is a way to pay bills, that's it for most people. If people try to give you grief, just give factual information in a professional way.
    via u/vanillabeanlady
  • 15
    Font - Why don't you work overtime? "My work hours are 9-5. Hours outside of that are my personal time." What do you even do outside of work? "I live my life and work towards my personal goals." If you aren't contractually obligated to work overtime, don't. If they can't get the work done without overtime, the company is not maintaining an appropriate workforce and that's not your problem.
    via u/vanillabeanlady
  • 16
    Font - WeStanPlankton OP 13 hr. ago Those people set me off big time, like literally make me feel crazy because I will go home and enjoy my life and that somehow means I lack ambition or a work ethic
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 17
    Font - They also expect us to work overtime, the weird thing is they recently made me hourly because apparently I don't work enough, but like my pay is the same and now I make overtime. I'm looking for a new job though I'm kinda hesitant because there are some really good benefits to this job. But I know I'll run into this personality again. But now I see them as sad.
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 18
    Font - But one thing I've noticed, they tend to lash out at boundary setting. I've seen them fire people (at will state) because people "lack dedication" but usually they slept in or tried to get out of work due to personal stuff. Or like they'll get mad that you only work your contracted hours and don't do more so you obviously don't this job. It's sick.
    via u/WeStanPlankton
  • 19
    Font - Edmundson Ferryboat 9 hr. ago We have one manager in particular who fits your description. She seems to live for being at work and wants to be involved in absolutely everything. She has no partner or kids and goes with the "well, I'd only be bored at home" kind of response if you mention how much time she spends in work.
    via u/EdmundsonFerryboat
  • 20
    Font - I think she does it purely to earn the absolute most she can while attempting to look good should a promotion come up one day. (At which point the game will just start again...) In a lot of ways I feel sorry for her. Her job is her whole life.
    via u/EdmundsonFerryboat
  • 21
    Font - When it comes to 'how do I deal with it', the short answer is I deal with it by using it as a lesson. I look at her and promise myself that, whatever happens, I'll never end up like that.
    via u/EdmundsonFerryboat

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Tags

should-you-quit toxic-manager employee manager upper management r-antiwork quitting-advice work-life balance Reddit workplace-culture
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